StressLess Coaching with Maria Mackenzie

These are the 2 biggest benefits of PAUSING when you speak! When you pause, you give people time to think about what you said. If you don't stop talking, there's no time to process your words, and therefore misunderstandings happen. And when you become comfortable with the pause, you remove your UMMs & AHHs which take so much away from the clarity of your speech. Don't underestimate the power of pausing!

Confidence comes from a place of humility, believing that everyone has something to teach you. Avoid the trap of thinking you know it all. This approach not only boosts your confidence but also ensures it doesn't morph into arrogance.

If you don't like small talk, it's probably because you always ask the same questions... - How're you doing? - What do you do? My friends, if you want to have better small talk, learn to ask better questions! Some of my favorites are: - What's your favorite TV show you're watching? - Do you know any good restaurants nearby that I need to try? - What do you like to do in your free time? Some of you might not be comfortable asking these, and that's fine! Use ChatGPT to come up with 5 small talk opening questions - and have these in your back pocket, and when you're in a situation where you want to engage in small talk, go to these questions rather than the typical ones.

https://www.facebook.com/100044460848431/posts/926497455508941/?mibextid=Nif5oz

Instead of reacting mindlessly out of anger or sadness, slow down and approach your inner landscape with courage and curiosity. When we are curious, we can intentionally breathe space into our reactions and make choices based on what matters to us and what we hope to be.

How do you feel today? How are you choosing to live in alignment with your values? These two questions exist in tandem, but they are not one and the same.

When we live according to our values and make truly intentional choices, we move closer to achieving the goals that matter most to us.

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=386274783944685&id=100076864997069&mibextid=Nif5oz

Mindful Listening
A set of principles I have found useful in my adult life come from John and Julie Gottman. Conflict is inevitable in human relationships, and this can be a very good thing. After all, how can you trust someone unless you know you can disagree with them and not suffer harm?
The Gottman's offer four principles to navigate conflict.
1. Approach the situation and conversation with curiosity; meet the other person with a sense of openness and a willingness to learn. Practice this by asking for more details, seeking clarification where needed, and mindfully noting any assumptions or judgments held.
2. Create an inner silence. Set your personal views aside so as to better understand the experience of another; make space to receive something new -- the other person's perspective. If the mind races while your partner speaks, you can come back to your inner silence simply by noticing your breath and then returning open attention to the person.
3. Listen to understand, not to respond. (This one is so hard!) Our tendency is to formulate a counter argument or response, but if we can truly listen to the other we can understand and validate without agreeing.
4. Cultivate heart-centeredness. When in conflict, handling the situation with care and compassion is difficult. Taking a few minutes to pause and refocus can remind us of how much love and care we hold for the other. Ask yourself: can you recommit to finding a way for both sides to be seen, heard, and held?
When first practicing mindful listening, make sure you give yourself the space to make mistakes. Relationships are complex and dynamic, with lots of opportunity mis-handle the conflict.

C.S. Lewis ❤️