The Butterfly Effect

To describe the depth of what the past month has been feels impossible in relation to the fullness of life that was lived 🤲🏽

Each moment finding its place in my heart as I learn to move through all that life offers without clinging to its pleasures or resisting its discomforts.

Thank you God for your creation of both humanity and nature woven together so intricately 🥹

Thank you for the way we get to feel your presence holding us as we play & explore in the natural world 🥰

Thank you to all who shared in these moments 🫶🏽

For this life I am eternally grateful.

Over the years, my heart hardened from keeping the peace, until one day I didn't quite know how to speak or even feel emotions safely anymore.

When our tears and voice are dismissed as children, we learn to shut down. We learn that our emotions are too much and that our truth is inconvenient.

What I see now is that in silencing myself, I wasn’t only losing my voice, I was also losing touch with God. The Word.

Because if what most faith practices say is true: Creation Begins with Expression ("In the beginning was the Word...") then my voice was meant to be a living reflection of that Word (God). When I stopped expressing myself, I stopped creating. And when I stopped creating, I stopped communicating with God.

There was a time I thought God was silent because of all the bad things I saw and experienced. But looking back, I realized that I had muted the channel through which He spoke. My own heart and words.

Now, as a woman, I’m noticing how my fear of using my voice mirrors my fear of feeling my emotions. Even when I’m alone, I struggle to let myself feel fully. Because there’s still a little girl who believes she has to always be composed.

The effects of wearing this mask also spills into my relationships. Lately, this has been showing up with two people I love deeply. Both are sensitive, emotionally intuitive souls. They’ve shared that when they feel emotional, they don’t want to be fixed, they want to be held.

And I realized that I don’t always know how to do that. Because it feels so vulnerable to simply sit in emotion whether it's theirs or mine. My instinct is to jump into “let’s make it better.” And yet I know that healing comes from feeling together rather than fixing. So, this is me learning to let my voice tremble and let my emotions flow.

Because when I speak with honesty, when I sing, write, create, I feel God again. I feel the Word moving through me, reminding me that communication isn’t just about talking, it’s about allowing Love to express itself through humanity.

The people who are meant for you won’t run from your realness, they’ll meet you there. And that’s where God meets you too, not in your perfection but in your presence.

I know these pictures seem super random but I think of this experience a lot and it reminds me of something I'm working through in my life right now... Showing up for people authentically and unconditionally.

We were on holiday and I know we were led to this cow pasture by something greater than us. We noticed that one of the cows was laying on its back and giving off an unsettling moan. We quickly realised she was stuck and wasn't able to get back up by herself.

At this point, there were a few cows grazing near her and one of the youngest ones came right up to the fence and looked at us as if to say "so you're not going to do anything?" (frame 2).

My heart sank and so many stories came flooding into my mind "what if we jump the fence?" "can we even push a cow back over?" "what if we get into trouble?" "what if, what if, what if!!!". The question paralysed us to the point where we just stood hopelessly watching the cow pass.

Moments before she took her last breath, all the cows slowly moved closer to her (frame 3). They stayed with her for a bit and when she let out her last moan, they all went back to grazing.

There are many lessons in this story...
- Surrendering to the flow of life = the cows moving with the knowingness that death is near
- Understanding the impermanence of life = the cows being able to go straight back to grazing after experiencing a death

The one lesson that resonates with me is 'doing the thing you know to do even when the mind makes up so many stories.'

My mind stops me from showing up for people in a vulnerable way because what if I look silly or what if it's not what they want.

All these 'what if's' are stopping me from deepening my connection with people because WHAT IF I JUST DO IT!

WHAT IF, that moment of vulnerability helps someone else feel seen in their experience...
Or helps someone not feel so alone
Or helps someone smile and feel joy for the first time that day

As best I can, I'm choosing to drop the story, saying 1,2,3, and just doing it! Knowing that this mindset shift is not for me, it's for the person on the receiving end!

Kirsten in the Bosch 😎😅

If you’ve ever been curious but hesitant, this one’s for you.

Coming into a space like this, especially if you’re not used to sharing, takes courage.

It’s not always easy to speak out loud about what’s on your heart. But something shifts when we do.

You don’t have to say anything. You can simply sit, listen, feel. This space is here to hold you without pressure or judgment.

We show up as we are, and that’s more than enough.

Swipe through to get a feel for what it’s really like. And if it calls to you, come sit with us.

Stepping into a space of sharing offerings with the world has been challenging.

The minute I stepped in, I felt as if I needed to put on this 'entrepreneurial' hat and find out how the system of 'being successful in the wellness space' worked. And that's when I started feeling more confused and frustrated with 'not doing it right,' when 'doing it right' just means being authentic.

This is a quote from one of my posts in 2023
"My goal is to be real, raw and vulnerable and no script or schedule will allow me to do that so screw the algorithm and the SEO and all the other digital marketing lingo, I'm just flowing and I want to invite you to flow with me as we create this beautiful space of healing and growth"

This is what I'm coming home to.

No rules.
No schedule.
No pushing of marketing.
No specific amount of payment.

Just me.

There is no specific amount of payment for our offerings.

In the beginning I was convinced by the system that I had to put a value on myself and my offering in monetary terms even though it didn't feel good to me, so I did.

And then I thought back to Kirsten 3 years ago. She didn't have much disposable income yet she was still willing to show up because she was curious to learn more about herself and different practices.

These practices have transformed my life so much and I want to offer them to you as a gift of thanks to the Higher Power for answering my heart's call to be of service to others.

Please accept my gift and if after the session you do feel called to give as a form of thanks then you're most welcome to. This could be in the form of a cash donation or a service exchange - whichever feels good to your heart.

Again, there are no expectations and no right of showing up.

Just my heart meeting yours.

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You.

P.S. please join our community WhatsApp Group for session info and community love and appreciation: https://chat.whatsapp.com/EeOJ8fzzKTQ8MRrfn6CsW6

Our Share Circle

On Thursday Evenings we gather in circle with a cup of tea and our hearts open to new experiences.

Our Share Circle is a safe open space for us all to share our stories, questions and experiences that have shaped our lives and who we are today.

The intention behind these Share Circles is to deepen connection with others and invite meaningful conversations while practicing to both listen and speak from our heart.

If you don't feel called to share that's okay too.
We'll honour your silence and presence.

Just come as you are.

Thursday Evenings
18:30–19:30
Choose Love Studio

DM me or WhatsApp me on 076 154 1344 to save your space 🥰

P.S. please join our community WhatsApp Group for session info and community love and appreciation: https://chat.whatsapp.com/EeOJ8fzzKTQ8MRrfn6CsW6

Our Online MVP Sundays

Create your cosy cocoon at home and allow yourself to be guided through a meditation, a visualisation practice and an intention setting for a peaceful week ahead.

Just bring yourself, a warm drink, and a notebook & pen.

Sunday Evenings
19:00–20:00
Online

DM me or WhatsApp me on 076 154 1344 for the meet up link 🥰

P.S. please join our community WhatsApp Group for session info and community love and appreciation: https://chat.whatsapp.com/EeOJ8fzzKTQ8MRrfn6CsW6

The Woman I Am Becoming Is One Born From Remembering.

There was a time when I didn’t know how to sit with myself.
Actually, I didn’t want to.
It was painful to have my thoughts rise to the surface and admit they were mine.
So I kept doing more, distracting myself because that felt easier than facing the truth.

My worth was tightly tangled in how others saw me…
In how much I gave and how little I thought I needed in return.
I poured from an empty cup, not realising that love and peace are seeds planted within.

It’s taking years to unravel the conditioning.
The belief that 'keeping the peace' means silencing my own truth.
Healing has taught me how to breathe again, intentionally.
How to listen, not just outwardly, but inwardly.
How to tend to the garden of my inner world with love and grace.

Healing arrives in waves, in relapses, in breakthroughs.
In breakups, in makeups, in quiet moments and loud realisations.
But through it all, I’ve learned the most important thing:
Keep showing up for yourself.
Keep using your voice.

I encourage you to sit.
To reconnect.
To remember.
To rebuild a relationship with yourself that is rooted in love, not fear.

If you’ve ever felt like you were too much, or not enough…
If you’ve ever felt disconnected from your own heart…
You’re not alone.
And remember there’s always a way back home to yourself.

You are worthy of a life that feels safe enough for your most authentic self to be.
And that safety starts within.

The more I look at this picture, the more parallels I draw between the physical experience of this moment and the healing work I’m currently doing🕯️

Physically, I walked into this dark cave - one that now, interestingly, resembles a va**na - which feels even more symbolic, as my healing right now is centered around remembering the woman I was before labels and conditioning distorted my sense of self 💆

I wasn’t scared walking in. I was curious, excited, and a little uncertain about what I’d find, which honestly made it even more thrilling. That’s exactly how I feel stepping into the depths of feminine healing. I wouldn’t say I fear the darkness—I want to know what’s there. I want to learn how to coexist with it, just as I would if there were bats or snakes in the cave. It’s about learning to be in the space together, just like leaning into the dark feminine wisdom that exists within us all 🧘‍♀️

At one point, the cave narrowed, and I instinctively looked back and asked, “Are you still behind me?” That moment - where I felt most alive while also knowing I was supported - allowed me to expand even further, to step deeper into discovery 👣

Yes, I could have gone into that cave alone. And yes, healing can be done alone. But would I have ventured as deep without knowing I had support? Who knows? 🤷

What I do know is that next time, I probably will be able to go alone. And that’s the beauty of this work. At first, we may need a hand to hold - but in time, we find the strength to rise on our own! 🪷💛

Confirmed, 2025 is looking abundant af!

Core ingredients to make a Kirst 🦋

🌳 Forest
👣 Barefoot 
📖 Journal 
🍵 Tea
🎨 Paint

Oh, and saying "I need to p*e" every 30mins ☺️