Anewable

Is your focus aligned with the results you want?

Should organisations regulate how people speak at work, or should employees have the freedom to say what they think?

On the surface, freedom of speech feels like a fundamental principle of fairness and authenticity. Yet workplaces are not public forums - they are professional environments where words can shape culture, trust, and psychological safety.

Unchecked speculation, gossip, or careless commentary can quietly erode collaboration and reputations, even when no harm was intended.

The real question is not whether people should be allowed to speak freely, but where the boundary lies between personal expression and professional responsibility.

So how do I implement boundary lines? First, consider the 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒕. Policies can provide clarity and protection, but if they are overly restrictive, they could discourage open and constructive dialogue.

Here are some topics for consideration, should you wish to introduce an HR Policy to govern workplace respect and professional communication:

𝐓𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐬 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐏𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐨𝐫 𝐎𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞
Employees should avoid discussing or speculating about the following topics in the workplace unless it is required for legitimate work purposes:

A. 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬

Relationship status, family issues, or marital matters

Health conditions or medical issues

Financial situations

Personal lifestyle choices

B. 𝐄𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐲𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭-𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

Promotions, demotions, or job security

Salary discussions about specific individuals

Performance rumours about colleagues

Leadership decisions based on speculation

C. 𝐈𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬

Race, ethnicity, nationality

Religion or beliefs

Gender, sexual orientation, or identity

Disability or health status

D. 𝐑𝐞𝐩𝐮𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧-𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐲

Negative speculation or discrediting a colleague’s competence

Character attacks or insults

Unverified allegations or accusations

Confidential organisational matters

E. 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬

Business strategy or confidential company information

Client issues or disputes

Internal investigations

Ultimately, policies alone will never create a respectful workplace - 𝒄𝒖𝒍𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆 does.

The real test for leaders is not just defining what conversations should be avoided, but modelling the standard of communication they expect from others.

When leaders consistently redirect speculation into constructive dialogue, address concerns openly, and create safe channels for real issues to be raised, gossip loses its power.

In Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), the skill “Focus on One Thing” helps people manage overwhelm by directing their attention to a single task or moment instead of trying to handle everything at once.

When our minds jump between multiple worries, responsibilities, and emotions, stress increases and productivity drops.

By deliberately choosing just one action to focus on, the brain calms, clarity improves, and momentum builds.

I used to have a difficult relationship with stress - one that led to hospital visits, and moments where my emotional dysregulation affected the quality of my leadership strength and also, my relationships.

Everything shifted when I began learning how to regulate my stress response through self-awareness, grounding techniques, and intentional stress management. As I built these skills, I became steadier, clearer, and far more effective.

Only then was I able to add real value as a leader - not by doing more, but by leading from a regulated, conscious, resilient and intentional place.

Here are some of the learnings that I would like to share. This is how I made friends with my Amygdala (which I named "Buddy") and how I now see Buddy as a good guy, who is a little misguided (and quite dramatic!) sometimes but really just wants to protect me 😊.

𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗥𝗲𝗳𝗿𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗥𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀 (𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗠𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗔𝗺𝘆𝗴𝗱𝗮𝗹𝗮 𝗮 𝗙𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱)

Let's understand the physiological part first.
Your amygdala is your brain’s alarm system. It scans for threats and triggers your fight–flight–freeze response - often faster than your thinking brain can keep up. That’s why you can feel anxious before you’ve made sense of what’s happening.

The prefrontal cortex is the “thinking” part of your brain - your built-in manager. It helps you make good decisions, solve problems, plan ahead, stay focused, and control impulses.

𝙄𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙖𝙢𝙮𝙜𝙙𝙖𝙡𝙖 𝙞𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙖𝙡𝙖𝙧𝙢 𝙨𝙮𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙢, 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙖𝙡 𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙩𝙚𝙭 𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙢 𝙫𝙤𝙞𝙘𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙨𝙖𝙮𝙨, “𝙇𝙚𝙩’𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝.”

Your amygdala is not sabotaging you; it’s trying to protect you. It just overreacts sometimes. And this is when we need to use tools to activate the prefrontal cortex and calm the amygdala.

When you name what your amygdala is doing, you turn panic into partnership by involving your prefrontal cortex - like getting a quick update from your own internal "information centre".

✅ Acknowledge the intent then regulate it with a grounding affirmation. An example here could be saying “Thanks, Amygdala. I am safe and I know how to handle this" or "Hey, Buddy - I see you, thank you. I have prepared well and I know I can trust myself to handle this. I've got this, you can relax".

✅ Calm it with a simple positive psychology technique like self-distancing.
Step back and observe your thoughts the way a supportive friend would. This cools the emotional heat so you can think clearly again.

Stress isn’t the enemy - and neither is your amygdala.
Use grounding, naming, and distancing to turn it into a source of value.

"𝗦𝘁𝘂𝗱𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘄..." - 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘥𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺?
It feels like every scroll through LinkedIn (actually, most social media platforms) includes a confident statement starting with “Research shows…” or “Studies have proven…”.

Here's the catch though - many of these claims are:

❒︎ Taken out of context or based on studies with irrelevant or tiny sample sizes, or poor statistical design
❒︎ Derived from flawed analysis
❒︎ Based on unsubstantiated research claims or anecdotal evidence
❒︎ Generated or exaggerated by AI
❒︎ Not backed by legitimate sources

Critical thinking has never been more important than in this era of 𝙢𝙞𝙨information.

𝗦𝗼 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗱𝗼 𝗜 𝗱𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗺 𝘁𝗼 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗮 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗶𝗻𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁?
1. Verify the source. Is it from a peer-reviewed journal, university or reputable organisation? Be cautious of summaries without citations.
2. Check the sample size and scope. How many participants were involved? Was the study diverse and representative of the population it claims to describe? Were psychographic, cultural or social factors considered?
3. Evaluate methodology and bias. Were variables controlled? Who funded the study, and could they benefit from its results?
4. Understand statistical fairness. Statistical significance means the results are unlikely to be a fluke. Effect size shows how big or meaningful the difference or relationship actually is. Confidence interval shows how sure the researchers are about their findings. If a study says “we’re 95% confident this result is true,” that’s stronger than one that’s vague or uncertain. So before trusting a claim, check if the data is both reliable and realistically meaningful, not just mathematically convenient.
5. AI can invent fake citations – always track them back to a real source by using tools like GPTZero, Originality.ai or Google Lens to test authenticity.
6. Apply common sense and context. Does the claim align with existing evidence, or contradict established findings? If it sounds sensational, it probably is.

Assumption flows from misinformation. Wisdom lies in discernment.

𝗖𝗮𝗻 𝗜 𝗯𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗲𝗹𝘀𝗲'𝘀 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀?

𝙁𝙧𝙚𝙚 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙠𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙚𝙩 𝙤𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙧 - 𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘺 𝘵𝘺𝘱𝘦 '𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘦' 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴, 𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘩𝘯𝘪𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘰𝘰𝘭𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘵𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵.

An empath is someone with an exceptionally high level of sensitivity to the emotions, feelings, and energy of other people, to the point of sometimes absorbing them as their own.

This heightened emotional sensitivity can lead to characteristics like strong intuition, a tendency to feel drained in intense environments, and a deep connection to others.

While empathy is a valued trait, high empathy can be overwhelming and stressful, requiring empaths to set strong boundaries and take time alone to recharge and avoid emotional burnout.

One of my clients recently came up with such a powerful way to remind herself of her worth during a resilience-building exercise.

She created a “wins jar” - a beautiful glass jar filled with handwritten notes of moments of accomplishment she’s genuinely proud of.

Here’s the beauty of it:
On days when she feels low, she steps away from the noise, pulls out a note or two, and takes a moment to reflect on the strengths, mindset, and determination that helped her achieve those wins.

It’s a small ritual, but it transforms her energy. Instead of focusing on self-doubt, she reconnects with evidence of her own capability.

A gentle, tangible reminder that resilience isn’t about never falling - it’s about knowing how to rise again, fueled by your own lived proof.

Remember this when you are struggling to break unhealthy habits.

𝗣𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗶𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝟭: 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗶𝗰𝗲.
Even when circumstances feel overwhelming, there is always at least one choice available - even if it’s small, like how you think about the situation, or the next step you take, or the help you enlist.

𝗣𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗶𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝟮: 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗺𝗮𝘆 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗰𝗶𝗿𝗰𝘂𝗺𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗲.
Life throws challenges outside your control, but how you respond - your mindset, actions, and boundaries - is within your power.

𝗣𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗶𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝟯: 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗮 𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗻𝗮𝗹 - 𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺.
If you’ve been voicing the same frustration for weeks, pause and ask yourself:

◻︎ Have I accepted this as my reality?
◻︎ What hidden benefit might I be getting from staying here?
◻︎ What small change could I make instead of repeating the complaint?

𝗕𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗻 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲, 𝗼𝗿 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝘆?
Measuring the right metrics turns guesswork into informed decision-making, allowing leaders to identify trends, opportunities, and risks before they escalate.

Without clear measurements, performance management becomes reactive, leaving success up to chance rather than strategy.