Project Upgrade Her

“Be yourself in the interview” is the worst advice on the internet

If you’re a woman of colour like me, this advice comes from a place of privilege we simply don’t have.

Here’s what you do instead.

You cherry pick. Strategically.

✅ Write 5-7 stories that show you leading, solving, delivering results. Not tasks. Outcomes.

✅ Match those stories to the job description before every interview. Curate, don’t dump.

✅ Walk in as the consultant. Not “please pick me.” But “here’s what it costs you not to.”

✅ Even for weakness questions, choose the story that shows self-awareness AND a comeback. Never raw vulnerability.

Authenticity doesn’t win in corporate.
Strategic authenticity does.

Follow for more career strategies built for ambitious women of colour

You’ve been saying you’re feel stuck in this job and will quit for over two years.

But you’re still there.

Here’s why and it has nothing to do with being weak.

You’re booking spa appointments and wine nights to manage the stress. They work for 48 hours. Then Monday comes. You’re using recovery strategies instead of exit strategies.

You’re waiting to feel ready. That feeling isn’t coming. Every person who has ever left a bad job left before they felt ready. That’s the only way it happens.

You don’t know what you’re leaving FOR. Leaving away from something is different from leaving toward something. Without a direction, the bad job feels safer than the unknown.

You’re exhausted and job searching takes the exact energy your job is draining from you every single day. The longer you stay, the harder it gets to go.

You don’t have the financial runway. Atleast 6 months of expenses. Without it, every time you think about leaving, your nervous system says no.

Financial safety isn’t a luxury. It’s what makes the decision feel possible.

The job isn’t keeping you there. The fear is.

And fear doesn’t go away by waiting. It goes away by moving.

Send this to the friend who needs a little push.

3 non traditional career moves I made that actually worked

Early on I kept being told I was too junior, so I stopped waiting for my company to give me what I needed and went and got it myself.

Here’s what I did:

1. Joined NGO committees outside of work to get the leadership experience my company wouldn’t give me. Walked into every interview after that with proof, not just potential.

2. Said yes to speaking in front of 400 people with 48 hours notice. That was the experience I needed to kick start my Speaker journey.

3. Accepted a $90k salary instead of $120k.

Chose the manager and the team over the title and the money because the 120 K job did not feel .

A year later I was promoted to Manager. Best decision of my career.

The system will not always give you what you need.

Sometimes the most strategic move looks like the wrong one.

Seven things nobody teaches about promotions⬇️

1. Your work must connect to company strategy, not just your team’s output.

Your manager cares about team goals. The people making promotion decisions care about company priorities.

If you can’t connect your work to what leadership is focused on, you’re invisible above your manager’s level. Start using the language from your company’s town halls and connect your work to it.

2. Your wins must be named out loud, by you.

Your manager’s memory of your contributions is shorter than you think. Document what you did, what it impacted, and say it in meetings and 1:1s.

Visibility is not bragging.

3. The people promoting you must be able to describe your impact in one sentence.

If they can’t articulate what you do and why it matters, they can’t advocate for you when you’re not in the room.

Give them the sentence yourself.

4. You need advocates in rooms you’re not in, not just a supportive manager.

Your manager’s support gets you to the conversation. Advocates above and across the org get you the decision. Build those relationships before you need them.

5. Timing matters more than merit.

Most organisations have fixed windows for promotion decisions. If you ask outside that cycle, even a strong case gets deferred.

Know the calendar and build your case before the window opens.

6. Ask before you feel ready.

Waiting until you’re fully qualified is the reason you’re still waiting. The ask itself signals you’re ready.

7. Your manager’s approval is necessary. It is not sufficient. They can champion you but they can’t unilaterally promote you.

You need the broader table to know your name and trust your capability.

The advice we were given, work hard, stay humble, your results will speak for themselves, was never designed to get women of colour to the top. It was designed to keep us useful.

I spent years being the most relied-upon person in the room. Great feedback. Same title. I had to unlearn everything and relearn how the game actually works.
Save this for your next review.

How not to blow up a $50K hike ⬇️

Growing up as a woman of colour, I was taught to be grateful for any opportunity

because you’re lucky to even get it.

So when I was called in for this highly paid role, I subconsciously sabotage the opportunity without even knowing it.

Here’s exactly how I messed it up:

• I overanalysed the company website especially the Team
• I couldn’t spot a single diverse person on the team
• That triggered negative self-talk

“You don’t belong here, you should be grateful that they even called you for the interview. You need to prove your worth first.”

And so:

• I over-prepared and over-engineered every answer
• I sounded robotic instead of present
• I wasn’t confident because I was trying to be “perfect”

And this is what happened next⬇️

• I lost the opportunity
• My confidence took a hit
• The shame stayed longer than the rejection

But it taught me one big lesson

Mindset is not optional.

It shows up in interviews, negotiations and every room where power dynamics exist.

Now that I’ve built a global career, here’s how I keep my mindset in check

Save this for your next interview ⬇️

✅ Reframe negative thoughts
Instead of “This is too good to be true”
I tell myself:
“I am qualified and experienced, that’s why I’m here.”

This is my time to showcase what I can do for the company.

✅ Visualise success

Picture yourself nailing the interview, getting the offer,
and that celebration that you planned.

✅ Prepare, but don’t memorise

Have career stories ready that you can adapt,
but never script or over-engineer your answers.

If you’ve ever self-cancelled yourself before the room even decided

this is your reminder.

jobinterviews

Don’t walk out when they say - no budget - use this script👇

I once accepted a job without negotiating because I was raised to be grateful. A year later, I found out a colleague doing the exact same role was paid $15,000 more. Same scope. Same output. The only difference? He asked

Women of colour earn 25% less than a white man doing the same job. Part of the reason is the conditioning, we were taught that asking is greedy, that we should be grateful just to have the offer.

That belief is costing us thousands every year. Hundreds of thousands over a lifetime.

Here’s what to say when they play the “no budget” card:

“I understand. Can we agree on a number now and the actions I need to take to achieve this with a time frame? I’m keen to move to the next level and would love your guidance”

You’re not asking for money today. You’re asking for a documented agreement. That’s very hard to say no to.

Screenshot this & follow along as I am on a mission to help you build a happier well paid career. .

Sources: Women of Color and the Wage Gap – Center for American Progress