Yoga Harmony with Jacqui

A message of hello… and to share yoga soothes my soul.

Hello dear yoga friends,
It’s very beautiful. Every time I go ‘quiet’ on here for a while, I start getting lovely messages from some of you, checking in on how I’m going. At times I’m conscious that my ‘yoga platform’ isn’t necessarily the place for me to continue publicly with my healing journey for ever and a day, but it seems many of you are interested, and it’s always a joy to connect with you, and so I share.

I’m going well.
I’m a little too busy with 4-day per week office work, and thankfully work have agreed I can reduce to 3-days per week for 6 months. I’m so grateful for this, as it’s entirely unsustainable to return to good health when there’s not enough time for rest and healing.

I stepped away from a lot of the healing modalities I’d been exploring, enjoying, and receiving support from. I needed to find who I way on the ‘other side’ of the surgery… to see what was left behind without the external support mechanisms.

As a result, I’ve been doing more yoga than before… and partly this is due to my frozen shoulder beginning to ‘thaw’ (oh how wonderful it is to start to get even just a little bit of shoulder movement back!).

The yoga feels like a gift from the Gods! It opens my body so beautifully. It makes my skin tingle in all the right ways. And it centres me on the inside (& goodness knows I need some centering 🤣).
It also provides every opportunity to feel into my body deeply and explore what’s going on, both with my frozen shoulder, and more generally. It allows me to take charge of how much movement I’ll explore with the ‘freeze’… what’s ok and what’s not. A total blessing. I’m so thankful I have yoga in my life!

For the visuals… here I am in the St Kilda Botanical Gardens last night. We live right across the road, and after work I went for a walk with one of my daughters. It has been raining, and everything was glistening and fresh. I stopped to look up at the purple bell-flowers – so beautiful inside – and Samara thought I was cute and snapped a photo of me.

May you know (& make time for) yoga,
May you know the joy of tingling, alive skin.
May you too experience the joy of flowers glistening with rain-drops.

With love my friends,
Jacqui x

The Exposed and Open Heart…

I didn’t know this before, but it turns out breasts can be a buffer… a protector of sorts.

My heart now feels very close to the world. Sometimes this is marvellous as I can have such incredibly close emotional connections with others. Other times, my heart is right there - as if on the edge of a precipice - exposed and open and at the face of rawness. It’s quite some adjustment to make.

It also catches me off guard in relation to how quickly the ‘emotional weather’ can change.

The photo below - taken a week or so ago by my daughter - shows me after I’d been laughing with her whilst practicing yoga, and telling her that it was the happiest I have felt in years.

Moments later I was sobbing, declaring exhaustion, and saying everything felt too much.

It’s a strange time to navigate…
the time after facing potentially life threatening illness.
It’s strange to loose two big buffers which unknowingly protected my heart for so long.
It’s strange getting to know this new me who is a little more unpredictable than before.

Yoga helps.
Yoga helps enormously!

I seem to weep a lot as I practice these days. Quiet tears which leak out as I open this part and that. An exploratory discovery on what have I been left with… and who am I now.

And so it goes…
Day by day…
Week by week…
This new exploration of who I am in the world with my very open heart.

The Overwhelmingly Positive Impact of Order and Rhythm…

I can’t claim to have mastered this in life… but I recognise the importance.

As many of you know, my husband and I recently stayed for 2 weeks in our friend’s beautiful home in the country, whilst they were away. Their home is a true delight. It is spacious and clear and overlooks a beautiful garden which is lush and green. It receives the country gifts of fresh air, sunlight, and the many beautiful and uplifting sounds of nature.

The inside of the home is exceptionally well-ordered. It’s not cluttered. Everything has its place. And when you open the drawers in the kitchen, everything is spacious and cleverly laid out. It was a joy to experience.

What has been perhaps a bigger surprise to me is how much this sense of order has impacted my state of being, and the feeling of clarity I have taken home with me.

To have order and space and ease, brings a particular quality of being to our existence.

I am enthusiastic and delighted with how spacious I feel after spending time in an open, orderly space.

I have come back to our home in Melbourne filled with a sense of internal spaciousness and positivity. I am simultaneiously received into our lovely and cosy home, which is less spacious, and a little less orderly.

Part of this is easily explainable. We are two adults and two adult children living in a 2 bedroom + 1 study + 1 bathroom unit. Essentially, our space is too small for 4 people. Still, we manage, and we have a loving and harmonious household. But, at times, it’s a little chaotic. Partly this is due to bad habits (I can hear my husband’s voice in my head as I write… “Can you girls put that away!”… me being one of them). Sometimes I fall into the trap of putting an item down thinking “I will put that away later”. And we all know what happens next! (later doesn’t aways eventuate).

The other part however is practical. We don’t have enough cupboards or storage space for 4 people. And so, it’s sometimes hard to get enthused about really, truly trying to pack things away, because in truth, there just isn’t enough space for the practical items we wish to house.

At any rate… I’m recognising the overwhelmingly positive impact on my being when surrounded by order. I harbour a fresh enthusiasm for creating as much order as possible, knowing this will contribute to my wellbeing and a sense of spacious (& less restricted) thinking.

And, knowing that our current experience is only temporary (soon our adult children will fly the nest and things will be different), I breathe deep, accept what is and commit to changing what I can. Spacious environments lead to spacious thinking… and we all know what can happen when we dream big! (Life gets better!).

Is there something within your control you can make more spacious in your living environment which

Here’s cheers to creating space in our physical environments, in whatever ways we can!!

Love Jacqui x

Listening Deeply and Knowing how to Heal Ourselves…

We have just returned home from 2 weeks in Castlemaine. For me personally, it’s a place which ‘tops me up’ in a way no other place can. It’s naturally beautiful in way which resonates deeply with me, the call of bird-life is pleasing to my ear and softens my nervous system, I have a lot of friends in this place and there’s so much mutual love between us (in fact, I have a lot of acquaintances too, and there’s a lot of love between us also). There are creatives and conscious people, and I feel a sense of kinship, even if I don’t know them personally, and some of my favourite healers are in this part of the world. I also have a love for some of the fine foods accessible in this region😜

I returned home (to Melbourne) feeling the best I have felt in a long time. So many parts of myself have been stimulated in all the right ways. We had some family time (our grown children wanted to come and visit us – I know, sweet right?!), we had precious time together as a couple (rare, after 25 years of raising a family, but a sign of things to come), we had walks in nature, time with friends, deep conversations and contemplations, eating and drinking in fun places, arts and culture, yoga, healing and spiritual healing, and time on the land… soaking up the natural world in a way which restores balance.

I find myself with a significant ‘bounce’ in my step today (it’s a non-work day, so have time to potter). Washing, cleaning, settling back into my own home in the city. I can’t help reflect how amazing I feel. I have not felt this good in a loooooooong time.

And it makes me contemplate… What heals us? What tops us up? What creates ease in our nervous system? Who can assist us on our journey? And when can we step in and assist ourselves?

It’s taken a lot to bring me to this present moment in time, where the clarity is so crystal-clear.

It’s going to be different for each of us, but for me personally, I have come to understand I thrive when I have ample time in nature, going slow and soaking up the rhythm and sounds of the natural world. I thrive when I have access to like-minded people – to enjoy conversations and deeply contemplate ideas. I thrive when I seek out the right support people (particularly post-surgery) for healing and repair.

I’ve come to understand that in my attempt for survival (likely prompted by fear), post-surgery I surrounded myself with many (many!) different healing modalities and practitioners. It felt useful at the time - and much of it was immensely useful - but, it got to the point where I was having too many appointments each week. It was costly in the financial sense, it was costly from a time perspective, and I also began to feel “where am ‘I’ in all of this?” It was almost like I couldn’t ‘feel’ where I was within myself, within the world, without the impact and effect from the various treatments which had had their play with me that week.

So, I’ve been consciously winding things back. Cancelling some treatments (ie crossing out whole modalities), creating more space between the appointments I want to keep, and being very considered about what serves me best right now.

I can’t help but wonder (for us all)… I think we often know what our body needs or wants. We often do hear the quiet inner voice and what it informs of us (I know some don’t, and that’s a whole other conversation), but for those that do, I suspect sometimes we override or ignore the inner voice. “The specialist knows”, “the person with that ‘authority’ knows best”… and we hand ourselves over to what we or others or society tells us we should do.

When it comes to healing and repair, I feel we do ourselves a disservice if we’re not listening deeply and actioning what we need. Our body knows. Our inner self knows. Specialists and body-health-mind experts are awesome… I’m so grateful for the access I’ve had to many… but trusting our own inner authority has also got to be in the mix, and knowing how and when to seek out support, treatment and guidance, and what kinds we need at what time, is ever so important.

So, dear friends… listen deeply… back yourself… list or make a mental note of what sustains you (& in what frequency)… and get to it! Support yourself in your owns ways… seek out the support of friends and professionals when you need it… be selective about who you let work on your body/mind… and back yourself. The inner wisdom is there. Let’s use it to our advantage.

After all, we’re all healing from something… injury, illness, a broken heart, the impact of ‘life’… whatever it might be. We are all on a journey from fragmentation to wholeness. Let’s go!

Big LOVE,
Jacqui xx

For the past 10 days we have been fortunate to spend time in Castlemaine, central Victoria. It’s a very special part of the world for us for us, as it’s the place we raised our family and enjoyed 16 glorious years of life. The timing has been perfect for a working holiday; we have a lot of friends here (& I am very well loved) and we work at our desk jobs by day, and ‘play’ in the evenings and on weekends.

I have been fortunate to catch 2 music performances, spontaneously bump into friends around town, connect deeply with a few special souls, enjoy many walks in nature, eat and drink at all the beautiful places, and I even found a sound-healing class to attend over the weekend. A break away from the city is a delightful thing and I am being deeply nurtured and topped-up!

In recent weeks I’ve been deeply contemplating my purpose in life and what brings me joy and meaning. When serious illness strikes, and you make it through to the other side, deep contemplation takes hold (or at least, it has for me). There have been some dark days where I have genuinely wondered about the purpose of things… and then of course further processing and insight and, thank goodness, a lifting of energy.

I’ve had some beautiful ideas brewing, and aligned conversations with friends which have been both encouraging and enlightening. It finally feels like something of the next chapter is now revealing itself.

During the sound healing class, I was dropping down into the deep, receptive state which sound healings can promote. I had a momentary vision of a tortoise who slowly crawled up to me and snarled, revealing it’s teeth. In the deep rest state, I found myself questioning “do tortoise really have teeth?”, but thankfully such silly pondering soon gave way to wondering what message the tortoise was actually delivering to me. It seemed to be a message of “hurry up… get on with it”.

With everything I’ve been pondering in recent weeks, it’s a message which seems relevant. After a period of darkness, uncertainty and really being genuinely perplexed about what life is asking from me, clarity is now starting to emerge.

I am grateful for the gaining insight; now it appears I need to harness the energy to ‘get on with it’.

Thank you for the love Castlemaine!
It was so lovely to see so many of you at the State Festival Garden Party on Sunday.

It felt like a day of friend speed-dating... just hanging out in the beautiful botanical gardens, listening to music, and seeing some wild performances (I dreamed of acrobatics that night!), and then having so many spontaneous catch ups with friends, people I've shared yoga with, people who have/are also walking a similar path (in terms of exploring health, life and balance whilst here upon this earth).

My cup is so very full from seeing you all.
Thanks again for the love xx
🙏💗🙏💗🙏💗🙏💗🙏💗🙏💗

Maybe clarity comes only after we’ve passed through the storm.

Today I was driving home from a massage appointment. It was raining hard and the windscreen wipers were going at top speed.

I looked via my review mirror out the back of the car and was struck by how crystal clear everything looked. Despite the rain, the cars behind me were clear… everything seemed brighter… there was such clarity.

I contrasted this with the view ahead. It was foggy and misty, difficult to see clearly, everything felt like an effort to visually process.

Same moment in time, same downpour, same road and yet I had to keep checking the rearview mirror, because everything was so startlingly clear and I couldn’t correlate this with what I was seeing in front of me.

I’m a big one for symbology. My subconscious mind speaks to me in images, and when I see imagery in the world with a particular feeling attached to it, the message is often very clear.

This was one of these moments, and in truth, it was unsettling, for it kind of sums up my life right now.

I’m startlingly clear on what has brought me to this present moment, but my future remains unclear and uncertain. As a person who’s always been driven and worked hard to achieve goals in life, uncertainty feels an uncomfortable place to inhabit.

And yet here I am… clarity in the past, and a foggy-vaguery for what the future might hold.

Do I like it?
Is it unsettling?
Am I uncomfortable to sit with uncertainty and see what life holds?
Do I have much choice?!

It feels a curious moment in time. Sometimes in life we effortfully shape the journey before us. For some reason this feels easier in our youth. But as we age, it feels that life moves us in various directions, and our will comes less into play. The winds of the Universe seem to want to blow us in the direction we are meant to travel.

I’m not sure where I’m headed, but I am the watchful observer, curious to see what chapter life puts before me next.

And so it goes… one step in front of the other in this journey of life.

Big love as we all walk our various paths,
Jacqui x

Joy, Hope and Gentle Strength.

Yesterday I woke up early, bounced on my mini-trampoline to facilitate better lymphatic drainage (oh, how those pockets of fluid are so irritating post-surgery). I squatted with weights, raised my calves, and did as much ‘yoga’ as I could… which, if I’m being perfectly honest, looks nothing like the ‘yoga’ most of us know. But, I inhabited my body, breathed my breath, paid attention, and noticed what I noticed, so in its own way, this is perfect yoga.

Afterwards I got ready for work and walked out the front door. The world looked fresh and new, like it can when we’ve decided we are cultivating a new way forward. There seemed to be more detail with a newfound feeling of enlivenment.

Walking past the botanical gardens I heard a flock of cockatoos. I looked up to see a small group flying overhead, followed by one lonesome black cockatoo with yellow in its tail. What a delight - they’re one of my favourite birds - but also how odd. A quick google search put it into perspective for me, explaining whilst unusual, it’s not unheard of that a black cockatoo will temporarily travel with white cockatoos, especially if it’s been separated from its flock and has been eating the same food sources as the other cockatoos.

Apparently black cockatoos are a symbol of transformation and new beginnings, often because they appear during seasonal transitions, and are linked with renewal, growth, change and spiritual shifts.
Yellow tailed black cockatoos are specifically associated with joy returning, hope after difficulty and gentle strength.

Those words have settled nicely into my heart and continue to touch it deeply.
It feels like a rebuilding phase, and I am grateful for all of the symbology which presents!

May well all have joy returning, hope after difficulty, and gentle strength. These seems like qualities and states of being which many of us need.

With love,
Jacqui x