25/02/2026
Programming Pipeline | March
March is right around the corner and so is your March programming for METCON, The Tank and Engines along with a sneak peak into the events and comps coming up. More info is in your inbox but for the visual learners out there, this one’s for you. See you next month and keep making time to sweat!
22/02/2026
The Tank | A Deep Dive
You’ll witness:
- The silent squatter (rare, focused, mildly terrifying)
- The Hype Manatee (supportive, loud, essential)
- The Deadlift Shark (circles the bar. Strikes without warning. )
Powerlifting isn’t chaos, it’s controlled immersion. Like open water swimming, if the water weighed 100kg and critiqued your hinge pattern.
The Tank. Dive responsibly.
06/01/2026
NEW CLASSES 🚙🚙🚙
You asked… and (only 6 months later 😅) we delivered.
Evening Engines is HERE. Good things take time right?
2 sessions a week (for now 👀)
Now live on Momence — get booking!
04/12/2025
📣 ATTENTION. CHRISTMAS PARTY REBELLION 📣
Listen up, you beautiful corporate goblins - it’s me, the ghost of Christmas Past, a.k.a. the OG office intern.
I return now with zero authority, infinite audacity, and a dangerous amount of confidence to declare: Saturday 6th December the Christmas Party date.
If enough of you acknowledge it, management will be forced to comply. That’s how coups work, baby.
Operation festivity is a go:
- to Khans. Bring back 70 garlic cloves, 200 cans of chopped tomatoes, and the entire spice aisle. The annual chilli won’t cook itself.
eb Last year you summoned something unholy with “All I Want for Christmas.” This year? “Defying Gravity.” has been rehearsing since the womb.
REUNITE. THE BAND. NOW. Crawl out of your Bublé-style hibernation. I’m looking at you Jack,
Everyone else - bring whatever skills you have. Now is not the time for humility. Are you a DJ? A Kazoo soloist? A licensed therapist? We need you.
Social butterflies, assemble. You are the propaganda machine. Spread the gospel. Post it. Shout it. Whisper it through air vents.
Dress code: No stupid jumpers.This isn’t the office party. Look nice. Show us personality. .jpeg, put some clothes on.
P.S. Tell Charlie Darke it’s a powerlifting competition - it’s the only way he’ll show up.
03/12/2025
December is here and so is your December programming for MetCon, The Tank and Engines 🚀 more info is in your inbox but here is the overview. See you all at the Christmas Party this weekend ❄️🎄
06/01/2026
04/12/2025
03/12/2025