Stronger Than My Demons

I haven’t posted in a while because life has been life-ing.

Pregnancy has brought a lot of emotions, insecurities, and days where I don’t feel like myself. I’ve struggled with the weight gain, the hormones, and the mental battle that comes with feeling out of control of your own body.

But whenever I’m overwhelmed, I come back to this truth:

My worst day sober is still better than my best day getting high.

I know what happens when I tell myself, “just one more time.”

For me, one more time never stopped at one time.

One more time cost me years.
It cost me relationships.
It cost me freedom.
It almost cost me my life.

The hard things I’m facing today will eventually get better.

A relapse won’t.

If you’re struggling right now, keep going. Don’t trade everything you’ve built for a temporary escape.

We do recover. 💙

Hello! I just wanted to check in and let every one know I’m ok! I know it’s a little alarming when someone drops off and just stops posting. I’ll be honest. I’m almost 21 weeks pregnant and I’ve been struggling emotionally. My last pregnancy was not like this. So Ive been taking a break from social media. I hope all the moms had a good Mothers Day. Life is still good just going through a moment. Stay strong and keep pushing for the life you want and deserve!

I didn’t always believe I’d get a life like this.

17 weeks pregnant with our little girl… and everything feels different.

Not because it’s perfect-
but because we fought for this.

We let go of what was breaking us,
faced the hard parts of ourselves,
and chose a different path.

Now we’re building a life rooted in trust, love, and something real-
with a partner who feels like home.

I get to have his baby…
and raise her with my best friend.

And that’s something I’ll never take for granted. 🤍

I’ve had a lot of people reach out saying they feel like it’s too late for them… like they’ve gone too far to come back.

I need you to hear me
it’s not too late. It’s not hopeless.

There was a time I hated myself so much I didn’t care if I lived or died.
My addiction took pieces of me every time I gave in.
I gave my body away for drugs and money.
I hurt my family over and over until they stopped believing I’d make it… just waiting for the call that I had OD’d.

My process of change wasn’t pretty.
It was painful, humiliating, lonely…
but the hardest part was facing myself and everything I had done.

And somehow… I still had this tiny, almost gone piece of me that wanted something different.
And that little piece went for it.

Now I’m here.
Sober, coming up on 5 years.
Married.
Raising kids.
With a baby on the way that was planned.

If you’re in that place right now… I promise you
you are not too far gone.

💬 If you’ve ever felt like it was too late but found a way out, share your story below. Someone needs to see it today.

Just a reminder: Life doesn’t magically become easy when you get sober.
It’s still hard.

You still have to face yourself.
You still have to feel things you used to numb.
You still have to rebuild what was broken.

But this kind of hard?
It leads somewhere.

Addiction is hard too…
but it leads to loss, pain, and eventually losing everything you love.

Sobriety gives you a chance to gain it all back.

If you’re choosing the hard road today-
just know it’s the one that leads to a life you don’t have to escape from. 💙

If you’re struggling read this!
Some days in early recovery feel… really lonely.
Like you’re falling behind while everyone else has it together.

I remember thinking I was failing.
Like maybe I just wasn’t strong enough to do this.

But the truth is-
you’re not failing. You’re learning how to live again.

One thing that helps me when it gets overwhelming:
reach out and say your thoughts out loud.
When you do that, you take the power away from the negative story in your head.
And you give someone else the chance to challenge it…
to help you see a different perspective than the one you’re stuck in.

It took years to destroy your life-
I’m talking about the constant grind of addiction, incarceration, and chaos.
So yeah… it’s going to take patience in the beginning.

You’re finding new people.
Learning how to cope sober.
Fixing the things you broke.

But one day-maybe 5 years from now, maybe sooner

you’ll wake up and realize you love your life.
The people in it.
The memories you’re creating.
You’ll feel purpose again.

It takes work.
Just as much-if not more-than it took to lose everything.

But this time… it actually gives you something back. 🤍