09/25/2026
Brené Brown defines shame as the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.
It's funny, when I sat down to write a post about shame, my first thought was, Hmm... I'm not sure shame is something I've had to do a lot of work through. And then I read that definition.
Have I felt unworthy of love and belonging? Oh. Yes.
As a child, I was sensitive. I preferred alone time and grew up largely in a world of adults. Around my peers, I often felt weird - too quiet, too intuitive, too smart, too different to be easily claimed by any particular group.
And that grew into an adult woman who often sat out of life, passing on group plans and choosing the safety of solitude.
As I get older, I realize I'm never going to be the social butterfly some of my extroverted friends are. But I'm also beginning to see the gifts that my particular brand of "weird" brings to the table.
I've never been afraid to ask why. At a time when our medical system is still catching up in its understanding of menopause, that instinct helps me advocate for my own health, connect dots that aren't always being connected, and use what I learn to help other women do the same.
And I can't look at menopause as only a health issue. I see it as a moment of spiritual revelation, too. A time when something in us begins whispering, Hey lady, you still have dreams in you. It's time to let them live.
I love sitting with women and watching the walls come down as they feel safe enough to say those dreams out loud.
So maybe I have known shame, just not quite by that name.
And perhaps one of the gifts of this chapter is discovering that the parts of ourselves we once believed made us less lovable, less acceptable, or harder to belong with may hold some of our most profound gifts.