Empathic Way Europe

This month, in our newsletter, we focus on an NVC assumption stating that “Human beings enjoy giving, when it is their own choice to give”.

First of all, do you agree with it?

Think about a situation in which you did something for another person – how was it?

Maybe you felt joy and satisfaction, some warmth inside and a sense that what you did mattered. Or maybe it was completely different – you felt tension, irritation or tiredness, and afterwards you thought that you would rather have said no.

Both experiences are very common. And what usually makes the difference is one thing: choice.

If you are signed up for our newsletter, check your email inbox. If not, subscribe now to receive future messages :).

"The needs remain the same, while our relationship to them evolves." Do you want to explore more? Read the latest blog post by Joachim Berggren.

Level of Needs - Empathic Way Europe Explore Levels of Needs: a developmental model showing how our relationship to universal human needs evolves throughout life.

Hi,

I am currently, together with Magda and Joachim, on the European NVC Summer Festival, co-creating community which intention is to care for the needs of all of us.

Today, you could also receive our newsletter in which I was exploring one of the main assumptions of NVC from perspective of our worklife:

"The needs of every person are equally important and can at least be taken into consideration".

Especially in our workplaces, where power dynamics, may easily lead to power imbalances, needs of some of us become simply invisible.

How can we respond to that?

In my newsletter I am proposing leaders asking the following questions:

1. Can I make a decision without making the other person wrong?
2. Can I protect organisational needs without devaluing autonomy, dignity, safety or belonging?
3. Can I acknowledge the cost of a decision, even when I cannot remove it?

Taking needs seriously does not guarantee agreement.
It creates the conditions for trust, even in disagreement.

What are your thoughts, experiences with taking needs of all under consideration in your workplace?

Share with us your perspective and join our newsletter to receive more inspiration!

Pause for a second and check: do you really believe your needs count as much as everyone else's?

Not more, not less. Equally.

For me, believing this brings calm. I have the right to care for my needs without explaining myself to anyone, and at the same time, it turns me toward the people around me, toward solutions that hold both of us.

But "equally important" hides a trap. Sometimes we hear it as: I have to meet everyone's needs. Someone names what they want, and I drop everything to run after it, or when no solution fits everybody, I freeze and do nothing.

That's why the second half of this assumption matters just as much: needs can at least be taken into consideration.

Each person's needs deserve care, curiosity, and a place in the conversation. That isn't the same as everyone getting their way right away.

Here's the part that still surprises me. Even when there's no solution I like, being heard changes my response. I didn't get what I wanted, and yet having my need received shifts what I'm willing to accept. It works even when things don't go my way.

And you? When you read "equally important", what happens in you?

How is it possible that two people can witness the same situation and describe completely different worlds?

Over the years, I've become increasingly interested in how we make sense of reality. We often explain life through psychology, biology, culture, or social structures - but what if they're all part of the same picture?

In my latest blog post, I (Joachim) introduce the Needs Quadrant: a simple framework for exploring four complementary dimensions of human experience.

It has become one of my most useful maps for understanding myself, other people, and conflict.

I'd love to hear what resonates with you.

The Needs Quadrant - Empathic Way Europe Explore the Needs Quadrant - a framework with four dimensions of human experience: inner, outer, shared meaning, and social structures.

Two days ago, there was a bike marathon near the place I live. It was one of the hottest days of this year till now. The temperature rose to 39 Celsius degrees. I found information on the local group on social media that one of the participants was missing. Their family was asking for support in finding them. I shared that post. Unfortunately, after some hours, it turned out that this participant passed away. I don’t know the reason. I can imagine that the heat could be one of them.

Reading this information, I felt sadness and compassion for their family and friends. And then I read some comments under the post. I felt really surprised to read blaming statements there. Some were aimed at organisers, some at the participant, some at the authors of those statements.

I started thinking about blaming… It seems to me that it is one of the strategies for meeting the need of protection. A way of moving away from pain that may feel too vulnerable to touch.

Because sometimes blaming may be easier for some of us than mourning. It can give us a temporary sense of clarity. It tells us who is wrong, who failed, who should have known better, who is responsible.

I am wondering what are your thoughts about it. How do you understand blaming? Where does it come from?

I added my picture to catch your attention and invite to explore this topic together.

If you would like to read more, you can register for our newsletters :-)

Find .orbitowska.fernandez's last letter about the "invisible universality that works" on substack. Our weekly letters are made with love and include a practice for the week. Thanks so much for reading and sharing.
All the best
Paulina, Joachim, Magdalena and Cori

How do you see people at work?

Through their role? Through age? Gender? Department?

We are inviting you to look at them through universal needs lenses...

A new week. A new letter. This month is about how we all share the same needs. Cori is questioning the direction of life's energy and shares her new program - find the whole letter on substack.
https://open.substack.com/pub/empathicwayeurope/p/same-life-energy-different-current?r=8jydk7&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

Enjoy an subscribe and let us know, how it lands...
All the best
Magdalena, Joachim, Paulina and Cori

Joachim's Article about Same Needs, Different Worlds...
https://substack.com/home/post/p-202166783