17/09/2026
Resilience is often misunderstood in the workplace.
We sometimes praise people for being able to “handle” difficult behaviour, challenging colleagues, or unhealthy environments.
There is a difference between being resilient and being expected to tolerate behaviour that should be addressed.
Resilience is not silence.
It is not pretending something doesn’t affect you. It is not repeatedly absorbing disrespect because you are expected to remain “professional.” It is certainly not an excuse for poor behaviour.
I am reminded of an incident shared with me during one of my executive interventions.
A female employee was experiencing sexual harassment from a senior director. She feared that speaking up to HR could put her job at risk. She was also worried that, if others found out, she might be ridiculed or judged by her peers.
Therefore, she stayed silent.
Not because the situation didn’t affect her. Not because she was “resilient.”Simply because she did not yet feel safe enough to speak.
Is this what we should expect resilience to look like in the workplace?
It was only during a coaching session, when she felt safe enough to confide in me, that she was able to talk about what she had been experiencing.
This raises an important question:
Is remaining silent in a situation like this resilience?
I believe we need to be careful about how we define resilience.
Resilience can be misunderstood as tolerating mistreatment, staying silent, or continually adapting to an environment that should instead be addressing the problem.
Real resilience includes knowing when to pause, when to speak up, when to set a boundary, and when to ask for support.
Leaders have a role to play here too.
If someone continually has to “be resilient” because problematic behaviour is never addressed, we need to look beyond the individual and examine the environment around them.
A healthy workplace should be willing to ask:
• What behaviour are we allowing?
• What behaviour are we challenging?
• Do people feel safe raising concerns?
• Are boundaries respected?
• Are leaders willing to address difficult issues?
• Are people genuinely supported when they speak up?
• What can employees do when they experience or witness inappropriate behaviour?
• What responsibility does the employer have to provide a safe and respectful workplace?
People shouldn’t have to become exceptionally resilient simply to feel respected and safe at work.
Resilience should help people navigate challenges — not be used to justify them.
If you or someone in your organisation is struggling with difficult workplace dynamics, inappropriate behaviour, or simply doesn’t feel safe speaking up, please don’t stay silent!
Sometimes, the first step isn’t becoming more resilient.
It’s having a safe space to be heard.
If you need support navigating a difficult workplace situation, please feel free to reach out.
