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I’m actually going to watch it again tonight as I’m bringing my parents to watch it — and I’m legit going to bring a notebook so I can jot down more thoughts 🤪 So stay tuned for more parenting lessons from The Odyssey 😂🐎🔥
I see this a LOT with my clients in the Juicy Fam, and I always see the relief spread across their faces when they realise: I’m not alone. Cuz I always ask the rest of the group coaching call: “Who else is feeling or has felt this way?” And a whole load of hands shoot up 🙋🏻♀️
If this is you right now, please know you’re not alone 💛 Send this to the fellow mum (or dad, but usually it’s the mums heh) who’s feeling this way too 🙏🏻
People are sooo off when it comes go teaching politeness, social awareness, and conversation skills 🤪
Comment “Set26” for those children’s books — there’s a specific page on manners 😉
The news reports are scant on the man’s wife / the girl’s mum — we genuinely don’t know what she knew or what she did.
But knowing he’d already been jailed for s*x offences years earlier, the question that keeps swirling in my head is: Who else knew enough to have stopped this, and didn’t?
This is part 5 of my thoughts on this horrific r**e case (scroll back on my profile Kelly Tay | Asian Parenting & Community if you haven’t seen parts 1-4). What are YOUR thoughts? Tell me in the comments below 👇🏻
Comment “Set26” for books that help your child become the one predators avoid 💪🏻
Make it make sense?! I had to do SO much fact-checking to make sure my timeline was right, because the years of each occurrence aren’t evenly reported across the media. Frustrating when the public is trying hard to make sense of such a horrific case 🫠
After studying the timeline, there’s one more thing that’s still bugging me… I’ll post about it tomorrow so feel free to follow along if you want to stay updated.
No child should have to go through this — and ALL of us adults have a duty to learn from this case. I really feel that as a society, we failed these girls 💔
Comment “Set26” if you’re interested in the books — they help you set up the foundation of trust so your child never hesitates to tell you about ANY strange behaviour 💪🏻
To be fair, I think it’s really hard for us (i.e. the public) to get a good grasp of what actually happened and when — because the media hasn’t done a great job of reporting this case clearly (and I say this humbly as an ex-journo!). For example, in order to make my timeline of the case, I had to dig through various news reports because some key facts were reported in some coverage, but not others 🫠
E.g. CNA was the only one that gave the specific years of his TWO prior jail terms (1999 and 2020) — and that earlier date is key in piecing together the picture: That this man was already KNOWN to be abusing minors, a whole 6 years before he r**ed his own daughter 💔
So while I can understand that the timeline is hard to piece together…
I still think people are flat-out misguided and callous, to be blaming the daughter — herself a victim and a CHILD when all of this happened. It is NEVER a child’s responsibility to hold an adult to account and stop heinous behaviour! 😤
Does this timeline help you understand the nuances of this case better? I hope you forgive my chicken scratches 😅 I wasn’t going to show it — that piece of paper was just for MY benefit to understand the timeline, in order to report accurately in this reel — but I realised when editing my video that if I didn’t show the visual, it would be pretty confusing with all these dates thrown around 🙈
P.S.: Because I know I’ll get “but why are you whispering” questions 🤪 I’m on the bathroom floor of my airbnb and speaking quietly because my kids are asleep outside. Also, I’m without my usual supplies, so I used my kids’ drawn-on sketch paper for my timeline 😂 Sorry it’s not the clearest!
P.P.S.: I wrote a bestselling children’s book set that helps you protect your child against grooming (among other things) — and social workers, psychologists, and teachers use it to teach children too 💛 Comment “Set26” to get your copies 📚 I truly believe it will help you and your child stand ready against predators and other manipulative types 💪🏻
Deeply grateful for this child s*xual abuse survivor, who reached out after my post yesterday (go to my profile if you haven’t seen it; I broke down how groomers target children).
She gave me permission to share what she’s doing differently with her kids — so here you go 🙏🏻 Please share to spread awareness 💛 NO child should have to suffer this — much less alone 💔
Comment “Set26” if you’re interested in the books 📚
Can we please agree there are better ways to teach kids not to wander off too far?! 🫠 What do you think? Harmless or harmful?
21/07/2026
It’s a bit of a marketing conundrum 😅 People do ask me in DMs: “I’m not Asian, is this book still relevant for me?” — so hopefully this post addresses that 💛
Honestly, this mum’s review made my freaking day and I wanted to share!! I appreciate and value every single order that comes in — yall have helped propel the books to bestseller status, and I’m just so grateful for every reader out there. Thank you 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Comment “Set26” if you’d like these books in your home, too 🏡 There’s free worldwide shipping if you get 3+ books 😍
Especially for new-to-Respectful Parenting parents, they think it’s their job to make their child happy.
I’ll explain with my own story.
Just 2 days ago, my 4yo had a giant cry (complete with kicking and screaming).
After he had calmed down somewhat, he said: “You have to give me something to make me happy, mama.”
You can bet your pants that inside, I was like: “Say what, young man?!”
But I held steady and said simply, with love:
“Your happiness comes from inside, buddy. Not from anything I give to you. But what I CAN do, is keep holding you as you wait for your sadness to pass.”
Maybe someone would think my response was unsatisfactory, because I didn’t do what he wanted.
But just an hour later (long after this tantrum had passed), he said to me: “Mama, I like you. Because you always comfort me when I cry.”
Just because you think your child needs something — a toy, a distraction, ice cream — to feel better again…
Doesn’t mean they do.
Because what they ACTUALLY need to feel better is simple:
Co-regulation from you.
I tell my clients in the Juicy Parenting Membership all the time, that no kid is going to say mid-tantrum:
“Mama I’m overwhelmed. Please stay close, even when I seem to be behaving in such an unloveable way. I need your love and presence more than ever right now.”
But that’s really what they’re saying.
And it’s up to us to provide the REAL kind of comfort that matters…
And teach what healthy emotional regulation looks like.