Couple Forward

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Couple Forward I practice curiosity about our inherited maps. Unexamined, they block intimacy and increase suffering. I deconstructed and left high-control religion.

Now 32 years married, three daughters, 20 years and 5,000+ couples. I think curiosity is the cure. We live in a relational world, and often our largest challenges center around our relationships. All of us have a global belief system in relation to our self and others. These core beliefs fuel our goals and shape the meanings we make about our lives. When faced with situations that fail to make sense to those internal stories, our relationships feel out of control, vulnerable, and stressed. Each one of us is on a journey, and sometimes the best choice is to consult a guide who can help us reach our destination. If you desire a vibrant relationship, I can help. I understand the art and science of love and can help yours move forward. I've been married for 22 years and have spent all of my adult life helping others achieve their relationship goals. I've been specifically trained and licensed as a marriage and family therapist, and I would be honored to help you too

Joy is twenty-nine and she will not be in photographs.Not at the wedding. Not at her own birthday. Not at the beach, whi...
10/30/2026

Joy is twenty-nine and she will not be in photographs.

Not at the wedding. Not at her own birthday. Not at the beach, which is the one place she says she is genuinely happy.

There is a woman at a beach, and there is a running commentary from a Christmas table, and she has not yet noticed they are two different things.

In one mind, a prediction is a distortion. Between two people, a prediction is a machine that manufactures its own proof...
10/28/2026

In one mind, a prediction is a distortion. Between two people, a prediction is a machine that manufactures its own proof.

Two people can each be right about what they saw and still be wrong about what happened, and no amount of private insight fixes that, because the error does not live inside either person.

It lives in the space between them, which is a place neither of them can reach alone.

The thing you call your temperament has an author and a date.I'm the anxious one. I've always been a worrier. It runs in...
10/27/2026

The thing you call your temperament has an author and a date.

I'm the anxious one. I've always been a worrier. It runs in my family.

A nervous system that learned to scan is not a personality. It is a skill that never got told the war ended.

Jim is forty-four and certain he will wreck it again.He has a word for himself and he uses it like a diagnosis. He has a...
10/23/2026

Jim is forty-four and certain he will wreck it again.

He has a word for himself and he uses it like a diagnosis. He has a list of the ones he has already wrecked. He has an explanation ready before anyone asks.

Sabotage was not his character. It was a prediction he had been quietly proving for thirty years.

It was the right map once. It carried a family through a decade that would have swallowed them.Keep your head down. She ...
10/21/2026

It was the right map once. It carried a family through a decade that would have swallowed them.

Keep your head down. She kept it down through school, through the first job and the second, through the promotion that went to a man who simply asked for it.

She is still running it, and nobody has told it the room changed.

Iris moved four hundred miles for a job and told nobody she was struggling.She did not call her sister. She did not call...
10/20/2026

Iris moved four hundred miles for a job and told nobody she was struggling.

She did not call her sister. She did not call the friend who had offered twice. She did not tell the doctor the real reason she was tired.

At seven she asked for something and it did not come, and a small girl drew a conclusion a competent adult has been honoring ever since.

I grew up inside a high-control religion. None of it felt like belief. It felt like the shape of reality.We're all born ...
10/16/2026

I grew up inside a high-control religion. None of it felt like belief. It felt like the shape of reality.

We're all born broken. God has a plan. Who am I to question it.

I was sincere. I was educated. I was certain. I still could not see the drawing I was standing inside, and I am still finding edges of it.

The category was invented by a school that needed to sort thirty children quickly and never intended it to last forty ye...
10/14/2026

The category was invented by a school that needed to sort thirty children quickly and never intended it to last forty years.

I'm not a creative person. I don't have an artistic bone in my body. I leave that to people who can.

Somebody told you what you were, and you have been checking their work ever since.

There is a finished book in a drawer.Simone has not shown the manuscript to her husband, or to the friend who asks about...
10/13/2026

There is a finished book in a drawer.

Simone has not shown the manuscript to her husband, or to the friend who asks about it every year, or to the agent who wrote to her unprompted in 2019.

She calls it having high standards, and she says it in the tone people use for a virtue.

Nobody handed you the rule outright. You watched who in the house was allowed to sit down.I'll rest when this is finishe...
10/09/2026

Nobody handed you the rule outright. You watched who in the house was allowed to sit down.

I'll rest when this is finished. I can't switch off. I feel guilty doing nothing.

Rest was never the reward at the end. It was made into one by people who needed you moving.

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213 E Cabarrus Street
Downtown Raleigh, NC
27601

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