24/08/2026
As a Pilates teacher I thought I had it all worked out š ā¦.but
I feel ashamed to admit that, as someone who felt really proud of how easily my body had coped through pregnancy, still working up to 9 months, I thought that I would ābounce backā into teaching Pilates in no time at all.
I looked around at the people whoād had children and, in a flippant way, thought they made it look harder than the reality actually was.
I did lack huge empathy.
But what did happen took me by surprise because I really wasnāt coping.
My body was leaking from every or***ce. I didnāt feel like just my own anymore. Living for two people was more demanding and unpredictable than I ever anticipated.
I looked at myself in the mirror. Even looking at my hand in front of me, it was unrecognisable. This felt terrifying.
I missed the person that was a little nervous, yet excited to have a baby.
I was spiralling downhill faster than I could get my head around. It wasnāt obvious to me, but to others around me it was.
I had postnatal depression.
Being out of tune with my body and my emotions felt like a huge loss of self and control.
I needed to build again, build differently, because the landscape had changed completely.
I stopped expecting that I could go back to being a person without a baby.
It wasnāt just about the body going back.
Experience has taught me so much. I understand the changes and shifts that happen in people, physically and emotionally.
When people come to Pilates, thereās a lot of nuance. Itās not just about the exercise.
They might be looking for a route to filling up the tank.
They might be coming because theyāve lost touch with their bodies. Perhaps theyāve been through things that have changed them forever.
I understand that transitions are not straightforward.
When I look at someone in the Pilates studio, in the room, Iām not just working with the body.
Iām aware of everything else that is going on in that personās life.
