21/09/2026
For many years now I have ignored my birthday. Others haven’t and I appreciate that ,I like to think I’m timeless with no restrictions
Whether that’s a good thing I don’t know
I don’t like attention on myself or be the centre of traction it makes me uncomfortable which others take as ignorant or ungrateful.
I can assure you it’s really not that at all
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Every birthday I think of my mother
The person who gave me life , always there for me no matter what I did or how I was
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My mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer 2016
At the time I was living on Kenny
My mother lived by lodge lane L8
I had lost everything I had at that time
Living in my bedroom no tv just scrolling on my phone this went in for over 2 years. I didn’t think I had a problem
That’s the trouble with mental health. You just don’t know you have issues
My mother did
-2-3 times a week she would walk up to Kensington and clean my house make sure I was ok my letters were open ( I couldn’t open them I used to get anxious )
She never judged never spoke about it and at the time I didn’t think anything about it as I didn’t know I had a problem
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When she became sick my brother and myself took turns to look after her
It was hard to watch someone you love suffer mentally and physically
Just a shell of herself , just bones
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She died march 2016
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My mother was a Catholic and she had a number of religious icons around the house on wall above mirrors .. when we took the icons down there were notes written by herself asking god to save her
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My mother died frightened and in pain
It’s something that’s on my mind every single day and will be until the day I die
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I’m writing this for 2 reasons
As therapy for myself
And as a tribute to my mother
The soul of a soulless world
Who never questioned, never judged just looked after her son the best she could .
I have never forgiven myself since she died
It must have been awful to see her son that way .
if your suffering from mental health don’t just think of yourself think of others suffering and worrying around you
Your behaviour and actions are obvious to them
Don’t leave it too late . Get help
