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Nila⋆Conzen, Hamburg (2026)

17/02/2022

❥ An incomplete list of things I'm unlearning these days. I'd love to know yours. 🧡

An invitation: If someone is rushing in to fix you, trying to elevate the pain with a "how-to, step-by-step magic plan" and it doesn’t feel good to you
. STOP!

and remember: YOU ARE NOT BROKEN.
Wounded - maybe - but not broken.
People don't break. They get hurt and then they can heal.

You don't need fixing. How could you fix something that isn't broken? You don't need perfection. How could you perfect someone that embodies the fullness of perfect imperfection?
⁣
Simple?
Yes (if you know the tools & people who can support you).

Easy?
That depends on how willing you are to throw out the cookie-cutter approaches to healing & tune into your own inner wisdom, because everyone’s crazy unique and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to health, healing, and wholeness.

Healing, growth & transformation isn’t about becoming perfect (which is an illusion in and by itself). It is about embracing the whole spectrum and messiness of human experiences - the pain, the fear, the grief AND the joy, the gratitude, the goodness.

Trust me, emotional pain won't kill you, running away from it will. You can hold it all.

So, stop running away from what's uncomfortable. Stop running away from your life. Go. Live.
⁣
Your true essence is perfect and unconditioned, and your journey is un-learning what the world has taught you to become and remember who you truly are. ⠀

I will always be here to remind you that:
⭐︎ you are not broken.
⭐︎ there is nothing wrong with you.
⭐︎ you don’t have to carry it all on your own.
⭐︎ you don’t have to see the full picture, just yet.
⭐︎ you can take it slow, and honor your process.

I believe in you, don't you?
⁣
🧡
⁣
Nila

〰️

Before we know how to UNlearn, we have to be willing to be taught. And to be taught means letting people in. Most people won’t be our people but a few will and it’s the greatest gift.
Reach out to the ones that don't try to fix you & gently push you forward.

For all my current offerings click
👇🏼
〰️ Link in bio 〰️

14/02/2022

❥ An important reminder not just on Valentine's Day! 🧡

I believe, there's a big misconception about "self-love" in modern (and social media) society!

Phrases like: "Just love yourself!", "No one will love you until you love yourself" are thrown around, but rarely does anyone talk about the daily work it takes to truly, deeply love yourself. We get conditioned to believe that to love ourselves, we need to spend our money on products and services that cost a fortune.

What a LIE.

Here is my take on self-love:
Self-love is not (always) glamorous (although the photos of bubble filled tubs, beauty spas, massages, perfectly shaped yoga bodies, and delicately foamed lattes tell us a different story..). Self-love is an umbrella term for different acts of love we perform toward ourselves physically and non-physically. It's showing up for yourself to do the daily work of healing over and over again. It’s trying to change the harmful self-critical narratives in your head and tell yourself a different story. Keeping promises & showing up for ourselves even when we struggle with getting through the day. To love ourselves, we must first be kind to the internal states that feel unkind to us.

Self-love, for me, is creating space for myself, every single day. To stop, pause, take a deep breath, and attune to my needs even - and especially - when I feel close to giving up. This, for me, is self-love. And it takes a lot of courage, commitment, consistency, compassion, and curiosity to fall in love with who we (already) are. Over and over again.

Self-love is the fundamental love “for you, by you.” It’s about feeling your own needs and taking steps to meet them. It’s taking the time to do some of the things that nurture - as well as challenge - you. Being patient and attuning to our needs in the present is how we dance between effort (keeping daily promises to self) and surrender (allowing our emotions to guide us). This dance between effort and surrender gives birth to insight, healing and wholing.⁣
⠀
What does self-love mean/feel/look like to you? 🧡

Nila

02/02/2022

❥ As always, here are your monthly reminders. Feel free to share, save, and ponder on them. ✨ (the last picture sums up how I felt during the first month of 2022).

My wish for us is that we remember our humanity doesn't make us bad or wrong or too much or not enough. That we learn to enjoy every part of our journey - even when it's hard. (Remember my word of the year?)

As we enter a brand new month, take a sacred pause and be grateful for how far you have already come. Remember that your only job is be(come) more of who you truly are. Always. You deserve to begin again. Again and again. Forever.

One practice I am currently exploring is to notice how small moments become the big changes I am longing for. One moment, then another, then another. Over and over again. Allowing each moment to change me. To teach me something I need to explore more deeply.

At the end of the day, the truth about what we all are is this: We are innately whole, complete, good, and worthy - exactly as we are. When we’ve truly got ourselves, nothing external can fail us.

Why and how?

Because we understand what our responsibility & accountability truly is, what our boundaries are and we deeply know the truth. That nothing outside of ourselves can change an unchanging truth. And no one can give us what’s already ours.

You are the only you. You are the only you.

And no one can ever take this away from you.

This months invitation: Before diving into your phone or your to-do list, take a sacred pause and ask yourself "what do I need right now?" Close your eyes and listen. Maybe, just maybe, it isn't what you thought you needed, but I promise you there is a whole lot of magic to be discovered once you learn to harness your inner wisdom.

〰️

Happy (or whatever it is) February. May it bring you whatever it is you are needing, desiring, or remembering. May you be held through all of it. ✨

Sending love, as always. 🧡

Nila

〰️

Ps: I’m opening the doors to the Total Transformation program only once this year! If you’d like to join this round, click the link in the bio to find out more! 🌞

31/01/2022

❥ I'm curious: What do you wish you learned in school?

I wish I learned in school how to take good care of myself and sit with uncertainty when I was close to giving up.

I wish I learned in school to listen to my inner wisdom and embrace my messy feelings.

I wish I learned in school that no matter what, I'd always be enough.

Always and in all ways.

What about you? 🧡

〰️

Don't get me wrong, school is great for information, but it fails when it comes to *true* personal growth & human transformation. This post is not supposed to shame teachers and educators (you are doing an amazing job!). I just think it would be great to add some of these concepts to the curriculum or possibly replace some of the info that we spent months learning and never use in real life.
Nila

30/01/2022

❥ Swipe for some Sunday (and always) reminders. Feel free to save them. Share them and remember them. ❤️

Have you struggled with self help? It sure has been a hell of a journey for me. It all started with a feeling that something was wrong with me. So I tried what many of us do. I desperately tried to fix myself. Unfortunately, that didn’t work, at all, until I realised that healing has nothing to do with "fixing". How could we fix something that has never been broken?

The self help world can surround you with positive messages. Overwhelming you with ideas like “positive vibrations” in order to get you feeling good the more you consume. But nobody can feel good forever, life will always have ups and downs.

Self-help can often make yo feel as though uncomfortable thoughts and feelings are wrong. Toxic positivity is about making you feel bad for not feeling great all the time, and the self help industry can absolutely put you in a position to feel like this. Self development has a nice lure to it. It’s this world of people trying to improve themselves, take control over their lives and decisions, and live a better ‘fulfilling’ life. Or at least, it is presented to you this way.

Most people come to the self-help/-imrpovement world from a dark place, looking for some sort of ‘hope’ or ‘way out’ – and I was no exception to this. It was this desire to change my life situation that brought me to the world of self-help. But what they don't tell you you is this: life will always be complicated and the future will always be unknown.

I’m slowly learning that life is always going to be full of lots of unknowns and uncertainty, regardless of if I fight against that or not. So, instead of striving for self-improvement, I am focusing on learning to embrace myself - just as I am.

In the words of the late British philosopher Alan Watts: "The meaning of life is just to be alive. It is so plain and so obvious and so simple. And yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves.”

There is nothing to fix or improve - only to embrace and remember.

May you always remember. 🧡✨

Much love,
Nila

29/01/2022

❥ This is (one of) the most important things I’ve ever learned. 🕊

I share this with you, not to scare or upset you, but because it's so easy to talk ourselves out of things we know are right for us. It's so easy to let fear, concerns, money, family, and friend's opinions.. stop us. It's so easy to put things off until the “right time.”

But what if the “right time" never comes?
What if you end up living your whole life waiting?
What if, one day, it will be too late (because you are too old, have other obligations, don't have the energy to do the things you always wanted to do..)?

I see so many of us stuck in this pattern. It’s scary to try. It feels more vulnerable to never try than to try and fail. But let this be your reminder that you probably will never feel ready. You will probably never feel confident enough to start. And you don't have to.

All you have is to be willing to take the first step.

For me, confidence comes from courage, and courage is your willingness to try.

So my invitation for you is simple - yet not (always) easily done (trust me, I know!!): just start. Start small. Teeny tiny. Start even though you’re terrified, even though you don’t know what will happen. Whatever that thing is that you want to change. Start and learn from there.

Because once you took the first step, you start moving and something moves inside of you. As you take another step, you begin to believe this work matters because you matter (and you do!). Just don't wait your life away. Money, friends, partners, pandemics.. will come (and go), but your inner wisdom - i.e. you being who you came here to be, fully - can never be taken away from you.

So, just start. Today. Teeny tiny. Big or small. Just start!

Opportunity cost is about a lot more than money.
May you always remember.

Much love,
Nila

16/01/2022

❥ Have you ever thought things like: "Why me?", "What if...?", "Could I have done anything different?"
.. me too.

Today, I invite you to ask yourself another question instead: Now that you’re here, after all you've been through (which, if you are like me, is a lot), WHAT WILL YOU DO?

I believe this is a more helpful question to ask because, instead of trying to change the past or alter reality by escaping the facts, you put yourself in the present moment - the (only) place in which you can start to make a shift.

Maybe the reminders above are your starting point.
Maybe you need something else that get's you started.
Maybe that something is a actually a someone.
Maybe that someone is you?

I cannot answer this for you, but I invite you (once again) to ask yourself: Now that you’re here, after everything you’ve survived, WHAT WILL YOU DO?

And a reminder for everyone who’s obsessed with changing:

People and circumstances will change, but it doesn't have to be January 2022. Rather we are always changing, often in imperceptible ways. So much so, we don’t even know what the changed version of ourselves will want in a few months. I often don't know what I'll want in the afternoon! Yet we go on making resolutions for our future selves (who is a stranger even to us), we go on breaking promises, and we go on blaming ourselves for not changing. So why not skip over the part where we obsess about changing?

May you always remember that you’re allowed to not have it all figured out — you are allowed to be in a space of evolution and learning.⁣ May you allow yourself to begin - again and again. Forever.

You are not too old. And it is not too late. 🧡
⁣
Here’s to another year of navigating being human and honouring ourselves as best as we can. Let's make the best out of 2022. Let's make it a GOOD year to remember! 🕊

Nila

24/12/2021

❥ I hope you are able to take a moment to celebrate yourself today - you deserve it. Your presence is a gift to the world! 🧡

As I slow down into this holiday season I am reminded of what matters most. The gift of our presence we share with ourselves and one another.

I believe in the end it will be the little things. The things we take for granted. The things we don’t think twice about. So I hope you smell the first flowers of spring, feel the first sun kiss your skin. I hope you see things that take your breath away, places that make you feel like you have never felt before. I hope you laugh so loud that it hurts. I hope you connect with someone who enlivens you. I hope someone who understands and acknowledges you, holds your hand and takes care of you when you’re sick and embraces you in a big hug of wordless understanding when you need it. I hope your days are filled with people who inspire you, who light you up when times are difficult and who will always believe in you. I hope you find beauty in the little things outside this little screen, eat a whole tub of ice cream by yourself & stay in your PJ's on Sundays watching your favourite movies - just because.

I hope you are reminded EVERY SINGLE DAY why you’re special. I hope you are reminded that you make people feel heard, understood and accepted. But most of all, I hope you look back on this year and smile. I hope that amidst the busyness of daily life you were reminded of what truly matters: The gift of our presence we share with ourselves and one another. 🧡

~

Dear you, thank you so much for being here in this lil' corner of the internet with me this year. It's been an honour to share this space with you. I'm so proud of you for everything that you withstood, overcame and figured out. May you find peace in wherever you are. May the pressure of the new year be a quiet whisper and may joy continue to find you in the now. May you continue to remember & embrace all of who you are. Always. In all ways.

May you stay nourished, warm, and well. From the warmest center of my heart, I send you love. 🧡

Merry Christmas (or whatever you are celebrating) to you.

Nila

Nila⋆Conzen

17/02/2022

14/02/2022

02/02/2022

31/01/2022

30/01/2022

29/01/2022

16/01/2022

24/12/2021

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